Lyrics (until music cut):
Look up, lean back, be strong
You didn't think you'd live this long
Be as one, hold on, steady stand
For as long as you think you can
Old habits die for a couple of weeks
And then I start doing them again
This sun is making me feel like I'm missing out on something
But if I went to your barbecue
I'd feel uncomfortable and not be sure what to say anyway
It's like when I go to your birthday
Drinks to congratulate you being the age I already thought you were
Or not, I don't know
It's a miracle, I've remembered at all
When I'm buried in the ground
I won't be able to make your birthday drinks
But I will still feel guilty
You see, when the air warms up like this
It brings every single memory of you back
And it makes me so sick, I can't breathe
Except I am still breathing, aren't I?
Sometimes I think that's the problem
So look up, lean back, be strong
You didn't think you'd live this long
Be as one, hold on, steady stand
For as long as you think you can
Be very careful out there
Stop trying to have so many friends
Don't be intimidated by all the babies they have
Don't be embarrassed that all you've had is fun
Prioritise pleasure
Don't send those long paragraph texts
Stop it, don't
Getting married isn't the biggest day of your life
All the days that you get to have are big
Be wary of the favours that they do for you
They'll tell you I'm wrong, they'll tell you (I do this all the time)
They'll tell you I'm wrong, they'll tell you (I do this all the time)
So look up, lean back, be strong
You didn't think you'd live this long
Be as one, hold on, steady stand
For as long as you think you can
All you need to do, darling, is fit in that little dress of yours
If you weren't doing this you'd be working in McDonald's
So try and cheer up, I'm not sure
You're moving around too much, you need to stand still
Be more like Mairead, shh
Stop showing off
You're a good girl
You're a good, tall girl
You're a good, sturdy girl
-----
Self Esteem is signed to Fiction Records
I have chosen this song as it is about life and its struggles. I find it emblematic of my life and experiences as someone who is an over thinker when it comes to human interaction. Often in my life I feel as though I'm falling behind or doing things wrong, when I'm going at my own pace and enjoying my life in a way different to the others. The last verse of the song especially resonated with me, as I often feel as though people are being condescending and talking down to me. The last lines especially hit hard as despite being assigned female at birth, I'm non-binary and thus it cuts harder than the rest of the song. I chose to end the music video on this note to invoke irony.
Self Esteem is the stage name for Rebecca Lucy Taylor, an English singer-songwriter. The name came from the evolution of Taylor's confidence through her young adulthood. She first released I Do This All The Time in April 2021, from her second album Prioritise Pleasure, which is also a lyric in IDTATT. The Guardian, a left-leaning broadsheet newspaper, named IDTATT as the best song of 2021.